Finding a way forward
Finding an way to re-create oneself – a new identity.
A client of mine spoke of the time after the death of her husband as learning to live around the black hole. The hole never goes away but learning to live around it gets easier.
It is saying goodbye – mourning the loss of that part of oneself – one’s dreams and hopes for the person we have lost and for ourselves – the part we played or hoped to play in that person’s life (unborn child, infant, partner or even a beloved animal)
There are so many losses we experience as we pass through life – we say goodbye to childhood, to adolescence to our feeling of energy and youthfulness – to being carefree (are we really ever carefree though?) . So, loss is not only about a person who has died, it is also about a dream which may have died or a part of ourselves which no longer functions.
In many senses this is what we are doing in life – constantly adding bits – taking bits away – shifting – learning – unlearning – we are creating ourselves. It is a dynamic process.
Loss brings alive all the meanings we have created and attached to that which we have lost.